Self-Defecating Humor

Well, David is at it again, slandering our work and NOT printing my name in his blog. Biotch!. This is what he says:

"Still no word from PRT regarding their choice of play for their full production in April - as you pray for Matty's Seussical to get chosen for State, pray for Sons Of The Revolution. It ain't dead yet. Nicole Carson tells me that the Studio Theatre is a consideration for the venue. Um...ew? That would be horrible. We couldn't fit 8 actors on that stinking stage for Wonker - how could they do SOTR? Well, worry about that later. Maybe the work will dictate venue.

Interesting Fact #14332308: The Soldier character in SOTR is named William Wayne Westfall. We wanted all W's so you get kind of a WWIII sort of implication with his initials. When it came time to write Wonker and I wanted the Candy Man to formally introduce himself on the witness stand, there was no hesitation as to what his middle name would be: Wallace Westfall Wonker. Are you seeing the "threads" now? The things that connect our work and make all of our plays into one unified "whole" body of work? Precisely. Name copying. Us write gooder plays every time."

This is what I wrote as a response:

"You know how we're always making up new ways to insult our plays? Well, here's another.

'Some writers cannot string words together to make coherent sentences; these people cannot string letters together to make coherent words. One suspects they may even have trouble making simple, rudimentary lines into the actual letters of the alphabet, their incompetence is so great.'"

Hehe. Why are our imagined critics so nasty? Earlier we were going to write a bio that said.

"Stephen Miller writes plays to conceal the fact that he is totally and completely illiterate. In fact he is amazed that actors and directors interpret his chicken scratches as an actual script. He is also deathly afraid of actors, as people pretending to be other people give him a severe case of the willies. Stephen owns the world's largest collection of unused toilet seat protectors. (The person who collects used ones actually has a slightly larger collection.) David Almeida is just like Stephen Miller, except stupider. By the way, David is the collector of the used ones."