Snappy answers

Got any of your own?

“You can’t rape the willing.”
CREEPY ANSWER: “You can, if you try hard enough.”
INSULTING ANSWER: “Oh, now, people like you should never underestimate the power of your own repulsiveness by saying ‘can’t.’”

“Hot enough for ya?”
INSULTING ANSWER: “I figure God’s just prepping us for Hell.”
GROSS ANSWER: “I’m good; I make my own gravy!”

When people order you to “smile!”
Respond by saying
“Make me!”
Or
“I plan to, when I see you leaving.”
Or
“Only when you’re dead.”