Answers to All Your Pressing Questions

1) Describe yourself in 20 words or less.
Hmm, others haven’t put a lot of physical description… Thinning, overweight, white... Intelligent, quick-witted, humorous, sardonic, unflinchingly opinionated, olfactorily bionic, audio-sensitive, optimistic, immature, fiercely individualistic, loyal, loud

2) Handguns. What do you think?
Hmmm... I don’t think they are automatically evil. But I do think that there are two sides in America – the side that thinks they’re evil and the side that thinks they are a necessary accessory. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of dialogue on HOW handguns affect our personal and national psyche, how owning one makes you think differently, etc. Where does that put me? I think if someone is extremely conscientious and careful and sensitive to why and how they need a handgun (including going through licensing and continued training), then let them have it, but also force them to take full responsibility for it. That being said, the only one I own (and it’s in Indiana) is so beyond repair (in a house fire) that it will never ever work. It’s basically scrap metal. I'd never personally own one that actually shoots.

3) Tell me about a film that you love that you want to share with others.
Hmmmm.... There are either too many or I feel like I’ve previously talked this one to death…

4) Do you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about your past?
Hmmmmm.... Yep. But not in a negative way. I have both pleasant dreams and nightmares about things that happened. It could be worse.

5) What were you doing ten years ago?
Hmmmmmm... I was just starting work for Lockheed as a Corporate Biotch. I’d just flown to Bethesda to live for two weeks so they could train me. My job when I returned was to work with VPs to gather metrics for Corporate reports. I didn’t have any staff at the time. I was renting a room on Princeton Street from a sexy Christian bachelor. I was still reeling from having failed so many times straight out of college – 5 jobs in two years, etc, etc.

6) What kind of girl/guy do you like?
Hmmmmmmmmm.... I’m actually reading in Blink by Malcolm Gladwell that even though you can describe the person in words, that is seldom the person you end up with in life. I think there’s something that just happens when you’re attracted to someone.

7) Pitch me a horror film set in New Orleans in the 1940s.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm... The Chicago mob comes into take over the Big Easy’s voodoo medicine drug trade. But they soon find that the whole organized crime ring is run by vampires who long ago started intermingling with werewolves to make themselves almost completely invincible.

8) Tell me something sappy.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Syrup straight form the tree.

9) The alternative music of the late 80's and early 90's was great. What did you like back then?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......... New Order, Depeche Mode, Guadalcanal Diary, The Cure, The Stone Roses, Thrill Kill Kult, Barenaked Ladies, REM, Indigo Girls, Nine Inch Nails, Dead Can Dance

10) I want to throw a party. My theme will be Italian horror and film noir. I want topless bartenders as well. Give me some ideas.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Make sure the topless men have nice, big Disco titties.

Thus concludes this quiz.