OPEN HOUSE PARTAY!!!

WE'RE HAVING AN OPEN HOUSE PARTY
WITH SEVERAL OF OUR NEIGHBORS!!!

WHEN: This Saturday, February 18th starting anytime after 4pm
WHERE: 730 Highland Avenue
WHY: 'Cuz we ain't done it yet!

PS: We know Joshie's party is also that night, and I plan to do both. This is the only day we could get the neighborhood to agree upon!

PLEASE SEND THIS TO ANY NON-CONVICT FRIENDS WHO ALSO MIGHT WANT TO COME!

And a quiz from David

Do you still talk to your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nope, because, God bless her, she died in a freak couples Roller Boogie accident with a quadreplegic several years after she lovingly and tenderly took my ass-cherry.

What should you be doing right now?
Planning on how I am going to kidnap and torture photographer Anne Geddesfor all the pain she’s caused me.

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
The ice clinking in my teacher’s highball glass.

What's the best thing about your day today?

My doctor recently told me there is really no point in me getting my pap smeared.

Do you enjoy Texas hold'em?

I pretty much well hate everything Texas

Are you against same-sex marriage?
I say if I have to be miserable, then I believe everyone should be!

Have you been on a date in the past week?

No, but I was on a raisin – sat on it…

Have you kissed someone you don't like?

Just Mom.

Can you quote an *Nsync song lyric?

JC
is so gay, See
He has a shirt of paisley

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?

They’re pretty new, but I only buy second-hand. They depreciate the second you drive them off the lot!

Do you like your parents?
The real ones or the ones I’ve invented in my head?

Tell us about the last conversation you had?

Me and this big, dark bunny are having one right now

Where do you see yourself in one month?

In a mirror?

What is your favorite smell?

Fresh CD

Do you consider yourself a clean person?

I really haven’t done anything to get dirty, really

What are you doing tomorrow?
Praying to My Personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ until He reveals to me my secret, holy “clown name”

Have you ever gone to therapy?
Baby, I got so many frequent flyer miles, I could go to Nirvana and back twice!

Have you ever gone camping?
Like in O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Have you ever had a stalker?
No, dammit!

Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Yes – ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

What does your name mean?

“the holy prism through which all the light of goodness in the Universe is made into a rainbow of blessings to pour down upon the righteous”

What's your current relationship status?
Delayed due to inclement weather

What are you wearing right now?
My ass-hat

What is your current problem?
Nothing! Everything is exactly as it should be, sadly enough.

Can you dance?

Nope, but that doesn’t stop me.

Who do you love most?
Casper the Friendly Ghost!

What makes you most happy?
When someone else buys me a drink and says I should really drink more.

Are you musical?

Nope, but I don’t let that stop me.

What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?
Instead of my bed?

Name one obvious quality you have?
Obliqueness

Are you happy today?
Nope. Still schmacko.

Name someone with the same birthday as you.

Macaulay Culkin – He of Home Alone fame
Branford Marsalis – jazz guy
Geraldine Ferarro – 1st female US Veep hopeful
Christopher Isherwood – Wrote the book Cabaret is based on

Where was your first French kiss?
On my sphincter

What is your biggest mistake this year?
This quiz?

Say something totally random about you.
I know you are, but what am I?

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yep - Dakota Fanning. She said I looked like a celebrity…or maybe she said I looked like I should be a celebrity. She’s a sweet girl, but a bit of a brown-nosing crackwhore, if you ask me, bless her heart.

Do you still watch kids movies or TV shows?
Just Brokeback Mountain.

Are you comfortable with your height?
Only when I am lying down.