Jello Wrestling in Self-Pity

Cuz sometimes it's fun to wallow in depression.

A quiz I bastardized from Joshie.

A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y
1. do you like anyone?: Absolutely no one!! What sort of question is this?Do you mean “Am I attracted to someone?”
2. do they know it?: I would hope people know if I like them. (If the question is truly the latter, I almost NEVER tell someone the truth in this regard.)
3. simple or complicated?: Simple like a short bus person

I N T H E L A S T M O N T H H A V E Y O U
4. Had sex: Only with myself.
5. Bought something: Yes, for sex with myself.
6. Gotten sick?: Only of myself.
7. Been hugged?: Can’t remember. Oh, wait, yep, a lot at the PRT event.
8. Felt stupid: I do right now.
9. Talked to an ex: I’m such a nice guy to them, buttering them up for no reason, that I’ve decided it’s time I quit talking to them.
10. Missed someone: Only the dead.
11. Failed a test: Home pregnancy test.
12. Ate cereal: Yep, frosted mini-wheat in the mountains of Tennessee (and this ain’t no joke.)
13. Danced crazy: I don’t think I have EVER danced normal, so yes.
14. Gotten your hair cut?: Just on my butt.
15. Lied: Nope…nun-uh, not at all, ever!

U N I Q U E
16. Nervous habits?: Lying on quizes
17. Are you double jointed?: No, but I’ve smoked two joints at once
18. Can you roll your tongue?: I can roll my tongue and my car.
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: Not without the assistance of my eyebrow-raising finger
20. Can you cross your eyes?: I’m Catholic, we cross everything.
21. Do you make your bed daily?: Yep, to cover up the urine stains
22. Do you think you are unique?: Absolutely not!

H A V E Y O U E V E R
23. Said "I Love you" and meant it: Only as a joke.
24. Given money to a homeless person?: Only fake money.
25. Smoked?: Only with a homeless person as a joke.
26. Waited all night for a phone call?: I’ve waited my whole life for a phone call.
27. Snuck out?: Why, do you know a way?
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: There are very few celebrities here in central Florida.

M A N N E R S
29. Do you swear?: Fuck, no!
30. Do you ever spit?: Can’t remember…it’s been such a long time…
31. You cook your own food?: Yes, and kill it.
32. You do your own chores?: Only because I hate myself.
33. You like beef jerky?: I like jerking the beef.
34. You like pepsi or coke? A good line of coke any day.
35. You're happy with your hair?: If I could transplant the hair on my back to my head, I might be.
36. You own a dog?: Nope, I have a cat that owns me.
37. You spend your money wisely? Half and half.
38. Do you like to swim?: To China.
39. When you get bored do you call a friend?: Nope, I usually do an online quiz.
40. Are you patient?: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

D O Y O U P R E F E R
41.flowers or angels?: Flowers – they’re easier to hit with a bowling ball.
42. gray or black?: African Americans
43. Color or black and white photos?: Mullato
44. lust or love?: Is there a difference?
45. sunrise or sunsets? Total dark.
47. rap or rock?: What’s Yoko Ono
48. staying up late or waking up early? Both…sleep deprivation is FUN!
49. being hot or cold?: I’m both, I’m told.
50. Winter or Fall?: The one that’s most like death.
51. left or right: Liberal.
52. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: What are these things and where do I get them?
53. sunshine or rain?: acid rain.
54. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: Asparagus
55. boys or girls?: Not a pedophile.
56. vodka or jack?: Before breakfast or after?
57. europeon or american muscle cars?: unicycles
58. cords or denim?: I remember thinking English cords were sexy once.
59. told someone you hate them?: Just myself.
Last one...
60. top or bottom?: Of my soul? You guess.