Some Thoughts on Brokeback Mountain

A lot has been (and is going to be) written about Brokeback Mountain; what it means, how effective it is. It’s been called “the gay cowboy movie,” which is derivative in one sense, but very accurate in another.

Interestingly enough, the old old old theme of forbidden love seems harder and harder to make new in these modern times. But you DO cut right to the marrow of the theme when you have two people of the same gender together – especially two people whose “mythology” demands that they perform antiquated gender roles (i.e. “play cowboy,” with all of its requisite Marlboro man charm.) So, maybe saying “gay cowboy movie” is a great way of cutting through all the bullshit and getting right to the point. Ya can't get a love more forbidden than that!

In another sense, this film may mark a significant shift in our opinions of gay culture. For the longest time (and I have been VERY guilty of this), "gay" also meant "campy", "socially irreverent", and likely even "swishy". In the world of the manly man, we girly-men took lessons from Bette Davis, Rosalind Russell, and Mae West. To survive, we sissies stole the word “faggot” from our bashers and became whirling dervishes of sequins and Broadway songs so fearful that we scared the bullies away by our sheer feminine brashness. And now, Brokeback Mountain (and the baseball player of the award-winning play Take Me Out) redefines our queerness as something that is more comfortably masculine....somewhat like a well-worn chambray shirt.

Perhaps, in the long run, even, the all-out assault of Jack on Will & Grace and of Carson Kressley on Queer Eye will quit seeming required behavior for all bone-smokers. Being a flaming queen will simply be one of many options - along with cowboy, baseball player, bar bouncer, and pro-wrestler (…well, maybe not pro wrestler…) Perhaps those men, who were for so long trapped searching for masculine essence in the costumed world of the leather daddy, line dancer, and bear, will also realize they can find the same sweaty machismo in khakis, Converses, and an unwashed SUV.

I suspect we'll be seeing a lot more films about manly football players, butchers, mafia bosses, and car mechanics who take it up the Hersey highway.

Or perhaps people will see Brokeback Mountain as a story of a man whose culture, upbringing, education, time and place didn’t equip him with the courage to deal with his passion, his wants and his needs. Perhaps if he’d been in San Francisco (even in the early 60s) instead of Montana, this would likely have been a different story. It’s quite obvious the tragedy is partially caused by his lack of bravery. If, despite everything, he'd been a little bit more of a man and taken what he wanted, damn the consequences!

Which is probably why I was so affected by the film. As a gay man, I intimately understand the struggle a scared man in that situation would go through. Especially since I was born in Iowa, a state as conservative as Montana. I understand how expensive some sorts of courage can be – what you have to give up can seem too high a price to pay. But I also accept the essential truth that a straight man (Roger Ebert) said of Brokeback Mountain, “We feel whatever we feel, whether we think we should or not, and to deny it can lead to heartbreak.”

It reminded me of Hillary Swank, after being raped in Boys Don’t Cry, tearfully telling an unsympathetic sheriff of her cross-dressing, “I have a gender identification disorder.”

Or of Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley, finally expressing his desires, and then finding out that his previous lies make it impossible to live out in the open.

Like Ennis in Brokeback Mountain, none of these people had the wherewithal – the previous experience, the knowledge, or the courage – to honestly face the truths their fates have dealt them.

And that is the something about this film that’s been keeping me awake at night.

I start wondering, what sort of things I have been a coward about? What sort of challenges have I not had the strength or education to face? And what are the feelings I have previously denied because of fear?

And in that way, the film is universal. Because that fear of the possible truth I haven’t faced has really nothing to do with me being gay. And it wouldn’t matter if I were a ballet dancer or a cowboy.

And that’s why I think I love this film.