Pissed at the Job Hunt

Four job hunt horror stories:

I cannot post these on my “positive” site, so I’ll post them here.

1) Got a call from an tres-exclusive agency that places HR people and people like me. The placement agency has an excellent job they want to pre-phone interview me for before they give my resume and contact information to the actual company for a possible phone interview. But first the pre-pre-phone interview. They called when the lawn people are out mowing and blowing shit all over right at my office window. The landscapers don’t show up for weeks, and then when they do, it’s right outside of my window the exact time this woman is trying to talk to me. I was half-tempted to ask, “Can I call you back after the yard lackeys are done?”

So, then a guy from the placement agency calls me back the next day at my house, and – ta-dah! – the fucking lawn people are there out blowing the sidewalks!

However, the landscapers got done two minutes into the phone call. The job is perfect – a director of training and development for a major hotel chain. But? Problem? I don’t get paid enough now in my current position to get considered for that future job, because IT’S LIKE $40,000K more than I am making now! Business never lets you make that jump.

David asked why they couldn’t just pay me less…

For the same job…

David’s company is smaller; he doesn’t understand they cannot “just pay you less.”

And I’d be working for a PhD with another PhD as an employee. We’ll see how that plays out. I am hoping my experience overseeing programs for over 9000 employees will count for something.

Anyway, even the CEO of my job has expressed that I am underpaid. Jason told me to give the tres-exclusive placement agency his contact info.

I also called a friend of Cathy’s who used to be management at the hotel chain to help me, but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.

I do not think I’ll get the Director position, but if I can hold on a while, I may be able to get a manager position and get my foot in the door.

Oh, and they don’t like that I haven’t got any hospitality experience. Ummm, I’ve had 11 years working employee development with the greatest money-maker for the largest aerospace company in the world. Does this count for ANYTHING!

2) The second one is a doozy:

Surprise Surprise.

I fucking hate job hunting.

First of all, I had a call from a technical firm that specializes in contracting, recruiting, and consulting. I was jazzed about this, because the Chief Operating Officer (COO) had obviously done some background research on me; he knew about my resume, my work with clients, the company I currently work for, and my playwrighting. He was VERY excited to talk with me, although he admitted he was nervous about the office, which is a shoddy temporary site until the new place is build and modeled. I went in to see him a week ago Monday. Here is what I found. Hope you get a chuckle out of this, I ain’t laughing yet:

The “office” was this open space with a conference table and six old prefab desks with phones and computers in an open area and a very pregnant secretary. It has such a fly-by-night, shifty feel to it, like white trash version of the Boiler Room. Only two of the desks had people working. The carpet was stained. The place smelled like the dinosaur ride at Disney (moldy). There were three offices to the side for him, his DAD the VP of Sales (uh-oh), and his senior account manager. There was a small kitchen area and a bathroom they all share.

Okay, I’m okay with the setting, because he already said he’s moving. But his dad being VP of Sales, hmmmm?

Then I come to find out that, five years ago, the COO passed ownership over to his MOM up in Long Island (where the main office is) so they could qualify as a minority-owned business. Oh, and the step-dad works in there somehow up in Long Island, also. Yay, family politics!

Then I find – consulting, they don’t do so much. Mostly engineering contract recruiting. They do a GREAT job at this for one single reason. The COO – the son – is REALLY HONESTLY a tech geek who has created this brilliant web-based program that can qualify a candidate in detail for the technical job they’re trying to fill. The client can see it, the contract engineer can see it, the COO’S mom’s company owns it. And it’s very simple to read.

Then I find that this company has no organizational chart, no metrics, no employee training, no handbook, no NON-COMPETE clauses (!?!?!), no measurement of how each of their employees is doing, no JOB DESCRIPTIONS!?!?!? This guy is not a COO, he’s a tech geek with a brilliant idea. He believes his business isn’t growing simply because large corporations have several “gate-keepers” in staffing he needs to get past. That may be part of it, but the man has done NO operational or organizational structuring, no goal setting, no formal feedback for employees (and guess what? The turn-over is phenomenal!)

He says “We CAN do that, but we already know the answer…” WHO!?!?! WHO already knows the answer, because the new employees you keep chasing out the door don’t!

So. I am pitching to create a Business Operations Director position. I don’t think he is going to go for it for three reasons:
a) They are desperate for a recruiting manager and recruiters – they are down at least three people – now, I could do this to learn the business, but I don’t want to do it for more than, say, 6 months.
b) A Business Operations Director may enforce some structure, and I get the feeling that structure isn’t their strong point. Especially Poppa’s and Momma’s strong points… Love the family politics!
c) They are currently operating on the “make money fast” model, which is “working okay….(hesitantly, he said) – so I would be seen as overhead. I’d have to prove I lower attrition and save money and make jobs easier.

Add on top of that, I’d be working with a 38-person office run by a family!?!?! I have a trick for dealing with this, too. I would insist we use Parallel Thinking during all meetings, and that would circumvent the politics. But still… Oh, I can “school-marm” this into working, but there are some distinct challenges.

Plus, will they pay me what I am worth?

3) And three is short.
I also called up a company that needs a Learning Manager, because – except for one thing – I am perfect for that position.

The one thing is they want someone with Finance background.

Again, see note on 11 years experience with the most profitable business in the largest aerospace company in the world.

4) And my favorite – insurance companies looking for tele-sales people but doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT to tell you what the job is. Even the very reputable insurance companies, like Met Life, you have to call a live person and ask specifically if it’s a training, employee development, or organizational change job. And they always say, “All we currently have is openings in Sales.” Well, ya dumbfuck, when I’ve asked you in two emails and a voicemail the same question, DO NOT write or call me back for an interview. JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION! If I was so desperate to take a telemarketing position, I wouldn’t ask the same fucking question three times to NOT get an answer. Why waste your time and mine!?!?! I’d be infuriated if I actually WENT to the interview and started to hear their bullshit pitch.