Quizzes from Scott(ie) and Brian

The Dirty Thirty... 30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself (from Scott(ie):

1. What ended your last relationship?
A secret that should never be kept from someone you’re having sex with

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Oh, it was for that Burmese porno filmed in daguerreotype, so….1916, I think.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Brewing coffee so I could get through the class I taught today at Lockheed Martin

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Laughing through the tears

5. Are you any good at math?
I am VERY good at knowing how to do the basic statistical stuff, (+,-,*, /, avg. mean, ratios, percentages, rolling averages, trending) but I let calculators do all the actual work.

6. What were you doing last night?
Watching the Tivo’d Top Chef smack-down with Cathy

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
I was told that we are related to Dolly Madison, no proof, and I have an unnamed D-List actor who is my second cousin

8. Have you ever burped in front of the opposite sex?
Yup!

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace page?
Yup

10. Last thing you received in the mail?
A letter from Bug Theatre telling me they were considering doing a play of mine

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
types – 4 – coffee (2 cups), water (4 cups), one can of Vanilla Coke Zero, and two cans of Fresca

12. What's one thing you wish to change about yourself?
Weight

13. Last thing you ate
A salad with some oriental ginger dressing I made

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
No, should I?

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
I HATE ALL DENTAL PROCEDURES – I demand Valium!!!

16. What is outside your back door?
My recycling bins, my trash can, a door mat, a wet rug drying, and a perverted hobo hoping to see my man-nips

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Fantastic Four – I feel so deeply ashamed that Chris Evans fascinates me. If I were that good looking, I’d walk around naked and people would applaud.

18. When's your birthday?
August 26, 1969

19. Do you have a secret crush?
I think I don’t develop big crushes, just lots of little ones – if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance I’ve had one on you – nothing serious

20. Do you keep in touch with your exes?
Unfortunately, it’s because they cannot afford therapy…

21. Do you dislike anyone right now?
Not really

22. Something you are excited about?
See #10

23. What is your favorite kind of Jello?
I LOVE lime with tropical fruit cocktail

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
They killed themselves in an 8-way suicide pact after killing their kids and grandkids in a cult-like poisoned sausage party. We great grandkids escaped!

25. Describe your key chain?
Home key, 5 office keys, car key, and a Borders tag Cathy gave me.

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large crowd?
This morning - 18

28. What kind of winter coats do you have?
Black leather “letter” jacket from my company – it’s pretty cool

29. What annoys you the most?
Needy people

30. Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?
I do macramé that way

SCHMACKO-OLOGY (From Brian)

MOUTH-OLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Usually a ginger vinaigrette or berry vinaigrette

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Boston Market – if it has a drive-up window, it’s fast food, I say!!!

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. The California atop The Contemporary - serious, never had a bad meal there

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. About the size of a dime, but it’s a penny

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Seafood

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. White pizza with mushrooms, ricotta, pesto, and chicken

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Just butter

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Barbara Walters drinking a Colt 45 in a two-piece bikini on a cheetah-skin rug

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. 2

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Mostly right

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. My soul

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Is this a sexual question?

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. My foot

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Several times, actually, but not recently

BULLCRAPOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Nope

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. Long John Thunderpants

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Autumn heliotrope

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. God, yes, I am still waiting to get my bicycle chain back out!

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A: Nope

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Actually, yes, my grandma did

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. That’s actually a little more than my usual going rate, so yes

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A. If it was my left hand and I was unconscious for it, yes

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. I’d never blog again for 50 dollars. (Have to agree with Todd and Brian)

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Yep

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. Yep

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a humans life for $1,000,000?
A. Absolutely not!

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. A crumpled up receipt, some change, and several dried sea monkeys

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. As a film, no – as a character, he’s hilarious.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. hard wood

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. What am I? 80? I stand!

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A. Nada

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: August 8, 2006

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Drunk

Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8
A: David Almeida

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A: Cathy

Q: Last person who called u?
A: Cathy

Q: Person you hugged?
A: Gina Battle at work – my clients LOVE me

Q: Person you kissed?
A: My Schweetie Peets (the cat)

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: Infinity

Q: Season?
A: Early Late Mid Autumn

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: I LOVE Brian’s answer – “but my aim is improving” – But really, I miss Sarah

Q: Mood?
A: Quixotic

Q: Listening to?
A: Bjork’s Vespertine

Q: Watching?
A. Nothing

Q: Worrying about?
A: Getting a job

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: In the toilet

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Have a play of mine performed

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: Actually, Pirates of the Caribbean

Q: Do you smile often?
A: Only online