Gotta Love That Joshie

WOULD YOU RATHER...

1) WYR....lose your teeth or your testicles (or, for the ladies in the house, let's say, clitoris)?
Ugh – If I could just lose one testicle in a non-painful way, that would be my first choice – but BOTH!?!?! I’ll grudgingly go with the teeth, though David and I have common nightmares of our teeth all falling out… This question makes my mouth and my nuggets hurt! (Who’s been digging in their Zobmondo game for questions?!?!?!)


2) WYR....lose your non-writing hand or an eye (either one)?
The left eye – I could wear a cool patch.


3) WYR....travel to the future or to the past?
Future, baby, yeah! (Plus I'd be less concerned about that dreaded Butterfly Effect - not the terrible Ashton Kucher film people,! It's called a theory, look it up!)

4) WYR....kill a neighbor or kill a neighbor's pet?
Ooo, I’m going to cheat. Our neighbors have this decrepit, hairless schnauzer that’s several hundreds of years old and dribbles pee wherever it walks. It’s like a half-petrified Methuselah dog! It’s time for that poor old man to go peacefully into that dark night. So if I could put it to sleep gently, I would.


5) WYR....burn an American flag or turn a fire hose on that pinko burning an American flag?
Burn that damn flag – why people get so touchy about a piece of cloth. (Though I’d rather burn an image of Dumbya in effigy…)

6) WYR....peer into the mouth of a volcano or peer into the abyss of an underwater trench (proper gear provided for both ventures, of course, not just in your skivvies)
I’m just claustrophobic enough that I’ll go with the volcano, my dear sweet Mauna Lau.

7) WYR....be a hero or a villian?
I’d love to be an angry, menacing hero. Instead I’m a silly, menacing villain. I accept this. LONG LIVE SARDONIC!!!

8) WYR....be abducted by aliens or kidnapped by Bigfoot (or you can say The Loch Ness Monster instead of Big Foot if you're more comfortable with Nessie)?
Aliens – I’ll take the intelligent life form any day.

9) WYR....fight a bear with a knife or fight a gorilla with a slightly larger knife (no knife more than, say, ten inches long - but as to tactics - you're the Homo Sapien - use that brain)?
The bear. God knows why – if I could choose something besides fighting though, I read in a survival guide how to escape a bear. I seem aggressive, but I’m just not.

10) WYR....be a spy or an assassin?
Assassin. I’d feel clumsy and awkward as a spy. All assassins are happy people, right?? “Everybody has the right to be happy, even if at times they go to extremes.” Plus someday I’ll play the part of Sam Byck with a director… You touched a sore subject, Joshie…