If I could be like Mike!!!

This is a Marcie quiz:

If I could be a scientist… I find an end to cancer...and hurricanes...at the same time, yeah!
If I could be a farmer… I would grow whacky weed.
If I could be a musician… Ooo, I’d be like Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran
If I could be a doctor… I’d shrink heads.
If I could be a painter… I’d be a combination of Pollack and Kandinsky with a little Caravaggio thrown in for flavah!
If I could be a gardener… See whacky weed comment
If I could be a missionary… I’d sing The Eurythmics’ “Missionary Man” constantly – “Don’t mess with a missionary man, heeey, heey!”
If I could be a chef… Ooo, Italian-Japanese fusion foods, like stir fry lasagne
If I could be an architect… I’d only design homes for little people, cuz it would be less math.
If I could be a linguist… I'd be cunning. (Stealing Marcie’s answer)
If I could be a psychologist… I would publish books about my stupid patients barely disguising their true identities.
If I could be a librarian… I’d find an annoying way to say “SHHH” and do it all day!!!
If I could be an athlete… I’d be something that finally gave me a killer body rather than this lump of lard genetics has cursed me with.
If I could be a lawyer… I’d be in the only population in the world that benefits from class-action lawsuits, malpractice suits, and frivolous litigation, and there would be absolutely no laws that could stop me and my kind from constantly spreading our evil.
If I could be an inn-keeper… Nah, I’d be an OUT-keeper.
If I could be a professor… I’d get really geeky glasses and coats with pads on the elbows and I would only teach things that are totally useless once my students got out into the real world.
If I could be a writer… I’d prove once and for all for every dreamer, for every self-defeating writer, and for the purpose of our species’ advancement that Shakespeare’s work 400 years ago wasn’t the only brilliant height humanity could reach.
If I could be a llama-rider… I’d name her Tina and feed her ham. “Goll, eat the freakin’ ham, Tina!”
If I could be a bonnie pirate… I am...I am a butt pirate.
If I could be an astronaut… I’d take off like Major Tom in that 80s song.
If I could be a world famous blogger… I’d be Marcie Schwalm.
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… yep, US Supreme Court, and I’d be the worst flaming liberal the world has ever seen!
If I could be married to any current famous political figure… which one has the most money?