First Quiz of the New Year!

Prone to using a letter opener to open a letter or prone to using your finger to open a letter? Finger – I don’t even have a letter opener. And I open my mail above the trash can; that’s how much faith I have that I’ll get something important.

A thief or a liar? I am neither. (Now, you figure out the answer.)

Sociopathic (lacking conscience) or emotionally sensitive (too much conscience)? I am a HUGE sociopath!

A conformist or a gadfly? I’m sort of a non-conformist cousin to the common gadfly.

"Low-fat eating is the way to lose weight" or "Low-carb eating is the way to lose weight"? I figure the way to lose weight is “low-food eating.”

An orange or a potato? Physically a potato, mentally an orange – a green, sour orange.

Attracted to younger men/women than yourself or attracted to older men/women than yourself? I’m attracted to money.

A pervert or a prude? A prude-vert.

A Star Trek fan or a Star Wars fan? Hmmm, I’ll stand out but the only science fiction that was more good than evil was Star Trek: TNG. I’m not a big fan of the genre.

Good at listening to someone or bad at listening to someone? Hmm…what?

Someone whose inner child still believes in Santa Claus or someone whose inner child is dead and you are heartless and bah humbug? Funny, my inner child still waaaay believes in Santa, but my inner child also believes there is a Jessica’s Law to protect us from people like Kris Kringle.

Likely to try the Baked Fettuccini w/Chicken dish at a restaurant or likely to try the New York Steak at a restaurant? Right now, the steak I guess, but neither option is really attractive to me.

Scholarly or hard-working? And they say there are no stupid questions…

More easily turned on with video (tv, movies) of sexy looking people or more easily turned on by seeing sexy looking people in person? I like video taping live people without them knowing.

A mall Christmas shopper or an online Christmas shopper? Maul.

Someone who always knows approximately what time it is or someone who often couldn't really tell you to within a half-hour what time it is? I always know what time it is down to the millisecond. Damn aliens and their abduction experiments!

A pear or a carrot? Ooo, a pearrott. Squawk! Give me a fuckin’ cracker!