PANIC in the Street sof Orlando!

There is a behavioral theory that seems very apropos:

ANGER is the idea that the world should change to meet your standards. You are angry because some outside person or force is not conforming to the way you think things should be. My character in this play I am in is definitely angry (it’s a lovely, humorous, imaginative angry at a world that needs to change.)

SADNESS is the idea that YOU are the one that will actually need to change, adjust, and acclimate.

I generally agree with this. But I have a third to add:

PANIC is the act of understanding you need to change immediately, because the current path (entirely your fault) is leading you to destroy beautiful things you have or to miss beautiful things you could have. Or PANIC is the understanding that you need to change immediately to avoid imminent DOOM. PANIC is multiplied if you do not know exactly how to change to save yourself.

Last night and today, because I can be a schmuck sometimes, I live in PANICVILLE. I am waiting to move on to SADNESS, because at least it’s better than PANIC and I’ll have some idea of how to save myself from the stupid sh!t I did.

Maybe it’s important to acknowledge and embrace this panic as a reminder so I will never do that stupid sh!t again.

I am good with changing – I have been asking for change in my life; I am surprised it came to me this way. It’s funny and kind of lovely that it did. It’s uncomfortable, but it IS what I asked for.