15 Universal Truths I Done Lurnt This Weekend!

So I crashed the PRT Launch cast party out in Metro West, and these were the blinding epiphanies that repeatedly smashed like bricks into my skull. (I'm a poet!)


1. The lovely John Hill has the exact same job Mark March had.

2. Even though I started going to the PRT activities to schmooze, because so many cool people were there, I ended up enjoying myself immensely.

3. Chuck Dent really impresses me as someone who communicates well and presents himself in a professional yet casual manner. (For organizations looking for a good mouthpiece, ya might want to notice this. Hint hint.)

4. Scott Hodges and I have the same tertiary erogenous zone – could this mean we are soul mates?!?!?!

5. Although monkeys and monkey-like things give me the creeps (thanks Edgar Allen Poe!), if the thing is made of metal, sits by a fire, and shoots lighter fluid out of its penis, I’m less scared for some illogical reason. (Thank you, Avis Marie Barnes, both for a lovely party and for Dan the Fire Monkey.)

6. S’Mores are a hundred times better if made over an open fire…as long as your skewer is long enough that your fingernails don’t melt.

7. There’s no good way to tell someone you think they are a marginally talented playwright at best. This isn’t aimed at anyone in particular; it just struck me sometime this weekend as a Universal Truth I should capture.

8. Certain people make one feel as if one were just humped by one of those obscure Japan-imation characters – it’s kinda meta-human behavior, but it’s very scary, and the whole time it seems their mouths don’t move with the words they're saying. Sometimes, sadly, these people are the ones judging your play. It’s nobody’s fault, really – it just makes one feel that one’s play has the same chance of surviving as that proverbial snowball in Hades.

9. Nikki Darden is a bit of a sicko, in a good way!

10. You look psychotic if you routinely wear a ski cap indoors (Avis’ neighbor does; we were peeping into his window almost the entire party. We Peeping Toms aren’t the psychos; the ski-cap guy is!!!)

11. Some people, like Ashley (Don’t-Know-His-Last-Name), inspire me to pick on them mercilessly.

12. John Hill is also annoyingly straight, which means the surname “lovely” is slowly fading from the front of his name.

13. Al Pergande listens to King’s Missile, which explains a lot!

14. You know you’ve met a good party friend, when you’re at a fairly great party and you still think, “This would be even better if Matty or Joshie were here.”

15. You can not make up for weeks of lack of sleep by one super-long power nap.