New Quiz

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst?
The best thing about the city I live in is that every single white homeless person has a fascinating story about how the Civil War was not about racism. The worst thing is the camel toes (those white homeless men should definitely wear looser pants.)

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to see turned into reality.
I love the idea of doing something really daring – like mixing your Diet Sprite Zero and your Diet Sierra Mist together!

3. Name an overrated author, musician/band, and movie. Name an underrated author, musician, and movie.
Overrated author: Shakespeare, seriously. Not everything he wrote was spun gold. He was just very prolific and a lot of his stuff is quite good, but I am still amazed anyone does Titus or Trollius & Cressida.
Overrated musician/band: Right now, System of a Down – wow, do they sound like hammered crap live – saw them on SNL and then on Conan, and they sucked in the sucky way sucky things suck!
Overrated movie: Two of my all-time overrated movies are Braveheart and The English Patient. Both are bloated, underedited pieces of crap with little or no point of existence!
Underrated author: Marcie Schwalm
Underrated musician/band: There is a little-known band out of Scotland called The Silencers – they are by far my vote for underrated!
Underrated movie: The Island of Dr. Moreau – the awful piece of crap with Faruza Balk, Vasl Kilmer, and Marlon Brando. It is unintentionally the best comedy ever made.

4. If your life were a sitcom slated to air in the fall, what would the show be called? Who would you cast in the starring role? And for extra credit, give us a brief treatment of the show.
It would be called Extreme Makeover on the Prairie III and would star both Markie Post and Erin Grey playing my inner child and my super ego, respectively, and they’d live in the bombed-out set of Pee Wee’s Playhouse after a nuclear holocaust. James Earl Jones would be the voice of me, but you’d never see me.