The Heavens Hate My Guts!

I'll just have a major bitch-fest here, since no one really reads this.

I keep reading my horoscopes, all of which seem to be telling me that the current sheise I seem to be wading in isn’t the worst it’s been.

Really?

The horoscopes also all say that things are going to improve.

But don’t hold my breath, right? Cuz I’ve had to wind this wristwatch called hope a few times already this month…(I’m working on my Dylanesque metaphors in the meantime. It’s a hobby...)

One astute horoscope even said, “Don’t get superstitious on me now.” What the hell?!?!? I’m already there, baby! I wouldn’t be reading the fucking horoscopes vainly searching for hope if I wasn’t already superstitious, you effing moron!!!

Let’s start with this: For the last three months we have been planning big event for my largest client, Lockheed. It’s several thousand dollars. Now, I have been telling both my office and Lockheed that I don’t think this event is the best money spent for the highest impact. That I think we should forgo the whole circus spectacle for a more targeted, savvy approach that isn’t as showy but certainly likely to be more effective. Apparently I was being a Debbie Downer. Well, until…

Until! Until only 280 people turned up for the event.

And then no one would acknowledge that I was right.

And then when they did finally begrudgingly admit that I was “somewhat” accurate, someone at Lockheed mused about how much my “subtextual negativity” might have hindered the event! What the hell?!?!? Like I’m some sort of mastermind super-villain with otherworldly powers, who, although I put in hour and hours of overtime and polished everything to a high, professional sheen, can somehow secretly plant the seeds of failure in a 4800-person population so that they don’t show up!

I wanted to ask what I could do better next time: “What, do you think, is a good way of acknowledging the possible problems that I foresaw and still maintaining hope. Because I felt like I was saying these things so our client wouldn’t waste money, and it seems I was right. But apparently, to others, it seems my voicing of these concerns might be the cause that the event didn’t succeed?”

Instead, I just sat there and diplomatically fumed in silence.

My boss noticed and pulled me aside and said, “You were right, but they weren’t willing to listen, we know. Now, however, they are more willing to hear you, and you can utilize this to suggest the changes you already suggested. This way, we gain trust, we make much more money, and the program still moves forward. If you get upset at being blamed for ‘mystically’ causing this not to go so well, then you are missing the chance to bring about positive change. So, I want you to work on letting this go and building on the things you already see as future positives…”

And then I noted that others in my organization don’t nearly pull the weight I do. And I was told, that yes, that is true. However, everyone is a “successful contributor” and that not everyone is required to be an A-Talent like I am.

I diplomatically responded, “I would like to be duly compensated for being that A-Talent, then.”

Instead, the account director for our company decides that my overtime is causing burn-out, so she makes it so I cannot legally work any. Except, now my clients are furious, because I cannot fit them all in!

Oh, and no overtime makes the account director’s job easier, but it makes our company less money and affects my clients directly, which apparently no one but me has a problem with!!!

So, how do we fix it? Get other consultants to step up? Clear some of my mundane tasks!?!? No, my boss say we negotiate with our clients individually to “adjust their expectations of service from ‘as quickly as humanly possibly’ to something more like ‘timely and professional.’” Again, apparently this good service is my fault, and that is why we are here. Apparently, my working hard is really a disservice to me and the company! My caring about my job and committing to doing a quality job is NOT a good thing!

The contact at CNL, when she got the email from my boss, actually asked, “What does this bullshit mean?”

I tried to diplomatically explain to her that my company wants the business but not at the risk of burning me out. She asked if something I said or did instigated this, and I responded, “As far as I know, no.” She asked if I felt burnt out – I don’t, really. She asked me if they were sending in other consultants to help me. Again, no. So, she wrote a nasty letter to my boss saying she is perfectly happy at my service at the current level and assumes that any adjustment will be compensated by other consultants with “Steve’s same professionalism, timeliness, and drive to exceed our expectations.”

So, my boss is now miffed and a little furious.

And then!

The crème-de-la-crème! I have been doing assessments for 82 people at Lockheed. Well, I noticed early on that we had employee versions of the assessment online and not manager versions. So, I called our vendor and requested manager versions. Well, they changed the appearance so it would look like the manager version, but it was not.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

We’re three weeks into gathering responses from 10 to 16 of these 82 person’s peers, subordinates, bosses, when we notice this!

Okay, so we’re working with the vendor. I explain, “It’s like I asked for a Newsweek magazine. You gave me Better Homes and Gardens. I hand it back and tell you that this ain’t Newsweek. You rip the cover off the Better Homes and Gardens, paste on a Newsweek cover, and hand it back to me?!?!?!? DON’T THEY KNOW THEY’RE OWN FUCKING PRODUCT?!?!?

Now we have to go back to essentially 600 people and correct this!

We end up looking like boobs.

And the vendor tells me that if knowing the error, I would’ve asked for a preliminary print-out to notice it was the wrong one (which I have never done before) then I would’ve noticed!

I wanted to say to her, the only reason I would have ever treated her with such disrespect and lack of professionalism and checked behind her back for accuracy is if I thought she was a complete and total drooling moron. Which, now that she has proven to me that she is, I will certainly do so in the future!

Instead, I diplomatically said I realy feel the approach she suggested was micro-managing and treating her with disrespect, as if I expected that she didn’t know her job. She was silent, because this error would suggest that she doesn’t…


And now…

I find that in the middle of my birthday , we have a FUCKING GODDAMN TROPICAL STORM BLWOING IN!!!!!!!!

I was planning a dinner and a movie that I invited my friends to, but I'm not going to expect anyone to come out in a fucking tropical storm!

What in fuck’s sake!

I need to know how I pissed off the gods, people!

This is smacking of Fate taking me out into some dark alley and fucking me up the ass with no lube! And I’m starting to get really pissed and frustrated!