See What Yellow Can Do For YOU!!

“He’s been peed on, already…”

This is our phrase for cute people we’ve met that our friends have already put dibs on. Meaning, that territory has already been claimed and marked. Essentially, although it hasn’t happened yet, a fairly gregarious person could meet and mark each and every cute person in a given party. Leaving us late-comers nothing…

Imagine this. Big party. Good music. Some chemical sadist mixing the drinks. Let’s say we have a very social friend named Avid Dalmeida there. And Avid basically has met and claimed all the cute boys for his own. He’s got the papers for the mining rights, so to speak.

So we walk into this party looking for boys to chat up, only to find that David…I mean Avid…has put his scent all over them and claimed them as his own. So, basically David...I...Mean...Avid has unrealistically stuck his flagpole, so to say, in all the virgin land at this entire party. And then David...I...Mean...Avid spends the rest of the party protecting his property, thereby effectively making sure no one else gets any cuteboys, but also assuring that he doesn’t either.

And yes, I am picking on him, because the man meets scads and scads of cute boys. And I am extremely jealous. And also, I love David immensely, and he knows it, and he can take this joke.

Also, you like how I talk of the cuteboys like they’re property? I believe I may deserve all that Hell has in store for me.

The only thing that saves me is that Sarah French is usually at these parties, and she’s hotter and more charming than any ol’ stupid boy. So, I’ll just stick in the corner with Hottie French and leave the cuteboys for David...I...Mean...Avid and the other gays to fight over.

And, apropos of nothing, I wish Jeff Lindberg great luck on his first day at Sleuths, which I am absolutely positive he’ll be fabulous at.