Answers in Your Pants, Sirs!

1. Do you still know/ talk to the person you lost your virginity to? I wish. He was killed in a car accident about 6 years ago…a drunk driver hit him. He was sweet. And even though he was 18 and I was 13, and we broke several state and federal laws together, I still think that meeting him and loosing my big V to him is one of the beautiful, wonderful things that happened to me.

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? Some sort of art installation – I’d make it look like a version of Arlington Cemetary but with spoons and then in the front have a simulated plastic model of all the extra fat I am carrying.

3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? Umm... Hehe, Neil Diamond, Kiss, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Broadway albums, 38 Special….whatever we had around the house, we were a very musically diverse household, actually.

4.What is the best thing about your current job? I have plenty of time to dig the graves before the cops search my property for the missing bodies.

5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class upon purchasing one? There is only one thing I would change – that is, when you are with other people, you should value their live company way way way way over whoever the hell calls you on the cell phone! That’s it. Meaning, hang up the damn thing – tell them you’re busy, you’re ignoring your friends, the server just put your food in front of you, the movie’s starting, whatever! Just value the live experience over the electronic one, that’s all I am saying.

6.Are you against marriage? Nope, I am more against people having children, because so many people – even married couples – go at raising kids like it’s an afterthought. We could use with so many fewer people in the world, if they were all wanted, loved, and concentrated on when they were kids. I really think the world needs many many fewer kids – drive up the value, so to speak. Supply and demand…make us appreciate them more.

7. Why? See above.

8. What's the most bizarre food combination you've come up with that's actually tasty? I currently love broccoli salad with a peanut dressing. That’s pretty odd.

9. Have you been on a date in the past week? (or just slept with anyone?) Nope.

10. If yes...how did it go, if no, why not? Some souls are honestly spiritually meant to be single entities, not half of a couple.

11. Where are you going on your next vacation? I plan to go visit Mikey and David up at their cabin in Tennessee.

12. Quote a song lyric, because I told you to! How ‘bout he one I am listening to now? “You’re right next to me, and I think that you can hear me, but funny how the distance learns to grow. Sometimes, I think you want me to touch you, but how can I, when you build the Great Wall around you?”

13. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Half and half.

14. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? Nada

15. Are you ashamed of having it? Dada

16. What do you wish someone would buy you? I just wish they’d pay off my college loans…and maybe buy me a house.

17. What do you think of hipsters? The really hip people have their own style and their own reason for changing it.

18. What are you wearing right now? LMAO – a chef’s outfit… which is weird, because I am using this computer while waiting for my scene to shoot at this industrial, and they said it might take an hour before we can even rehearse, so the make-up is not even going to touch me until 2pm…

19. When is the last time you had mom's home cookin'? The day before she died…1977.

20. Do you like your parents? I don’t have to like or hate them…they’re both dirt now.

21. What state/country are you from? Iowa…a place with a lot of dirt.