Poo World

David mentioned thi in his blog...(he doesn't know it all). I have never been so angry in my entire life...

My drains in the house were running slow, so I called the plumber. He sent this new assistant who quickly ascertained that the sewage line was blocked. Tree roots probably, with all this rain. Except he used my garden hose and ran it down the sewage line!!! And then he turned the water on full-blast causing a shit fountain that exploded all over my bathroom and flowed into my bedroom. It totally destroyed a pile of laundry I had set out to wash. I had to scream at him to shut off the water, and then I found he was using my garden hose.

And then I spent the next two hours cleaning up Poo World and yelling the holy fuck out of his boss on the phone. And then the moron plumber banged on my door and said he couldn’t finish the job because it was raining!

And then after draining the shitpond in my bedroom, when I was in the shower scrubbing myself with Comet, the asshole-shithead plumber came banging on my door. He wouldn’t stop, so I wrapped on a robe and answered the door. And he shoved his way in saying he was there to help clean up the shit.

I said I’d already been cleaning it up for the last two hours. He replied that it couldn’t have been that bad if I already had it cleaned up. I showed him the pile of destroyed laundry (now I am only in a robe and soaking wet – mind you) and explained to him that I was in the shower scrubbing the feces off of myself.

He said, “Still, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

I got so angry; it felt like I could have given myself a stroke. Spots appeared before my eyes, and I felt my jugular throbbing. I cannot remember ever being this angry. I seriously thought for a moment I wouldn't be able to control myself from pounding the fuck out of this retard while standing in a bathrobe in my own house.

I told him to get the fuck out of my house.

I have never been so furious - so close to violence - in my entire life. I never thought I'd hear myself say, "Get the fuck outa my house! Right Now!" Thank God the retard was smart enough to leave then, or I would have seriously started beating him and not stopped till the fucker was a dead, bloody pulp. I was that angry. (My freinds know I don't talk this way.)

My landlady says that the plumbing company is going to reimburse me. But I was so angry I couldn't sleep last night. My jaw still is throbbing from me gritting my teeth for the last 20 hours. I even took a half day off this morning to try to calm myself down and catch up on my sleep.

But, as I was leaving for work – there was a Vietnamese homeless man changing his pants in my carport. He had soiled his pants and used my carport as his own "private" dressing room to change drawers... So I called the cops and they caught him. And I decided not to press indecency charges, just a Trespass Warning.

But here’s the fun part. Did you know, the cops – in order to give out a Trespass Warning – have to record you telling the person to his face that he is not welcome on your property? Man, that’s fun… I felt like such a schmuck…

The cops did tell the guy that I went gentle on him; that I could have had him arrested for indecency. But I still fear some sort of hobo restitution….Gah, what horrible things have I done to deserve this!?!?!