Ran-dumb Tuesday; The People in my Neighborhood

You ever sit, bored, at your desk, so you rest your hand on your chin… And then you smell something nice but you cannot figure out where it’s coming from. And then you realize it’s you. It’s your forearm now mere inches from you nose? I feel so stupid when I do this, and I do it about once every month. It seems a bit vain and egocentric. “Gee, I smell great!” Well, I guess I picked the right cologne… At least it pleases me…

Whenever Frank Hilgenberg opens his mouth, I feel all the joy and love get sucked out of the world. All that leaves Frank’s mouth are negativities, self-centrisms, self-aggrandizements, and grandiloquent platitudes reeking of bullshit. Full of sound and fury and signifying nothing, that man is. He starts talking, and I start immediately contemplating suicide, I swear. His “insights” just make this world a duller, shittier place to live in. Where are the witty turns-of-phrase; where is the sensitive charm; where are the engaging questions that someone with his 40 years of theatre (as he so frequently likes to remind us) should have??? Also, every time I listen to him, I get very scared I could get like that. I actually get scared I am like that. Ah, the Hindenburg, as I like to call him…the doom he brings… He is my own personal Dementor.

On the other hand, David Lee… I ran into him at Target. Is it that I find him sexy and interesting? Is it that I love his directing? Is it that his production of Far Away was exactly what my theatre soul had been craving? Every time I run into him, my heart does this little flip-flop. It’s the artistic version of puppy love, I think.

And I saw Steve McKinnon last night, whom I adore like a gay little brother, except he’s so cute; we could have never come from the same gene pool. And Larry Stalling, who makes me laugh (and he knows it). And John Bateman, of whom I grow more and more impressed with every time we meet. And that girl Sarah, who barely remembers me from that wild night at Independent Bar even though she stuck her tongue in my ear…several times…

I have a question I want to ask, but I’ll save it for later.