Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Snappy answers

Got any of your own?

“You can’t rape the willing.”
CREEPY ANSWER: “You can, if you try hard enough.”
INSULTING ANSWER: “Oh, now, people like you should never underestimate the power of your own repulsiveness by saying ‘can’t.’”

“Hot enough for ya?”
INSULTING ANSWER: “I figure God’s just prepping us for Hell.”
GROSS ANSWER: “I’m good; I make my own gravy!”


When people order you to “smile!”
Respond by saying
“Make me!”
Or
“I plan to, when I see you leaving.”
Or
“Only when you’re dead.”

Saturday, January 27, 2007

A few bits of news

1) THE BIRD AND THE BEE area new band I am SERIOUSLY into - they're like Bebel Gilberto meets St. Etienne with a small smidge of dub thrown in. I strongly suggest their eponymous CD:

Here are a couple tunes:
Again & Again
http://download.yousendit.com/88ACDF5B6B179994


My favorite: I Hate Camera (the chorus reminds me of Kirsty MacColl - Gah I miss her, RIP!)
http://download.yousendit.com/E074E9D442C81EAA[/url


2) I miss Sarah French!

3) Cathy has been depressed, because she's worked 18 days straight, and it looks like she may have to do 26 in a row (reminds me of when i worked for Darryl on the Lockheed Technical Plan...) Cathy's got a cold; I think part of it is stress. FYI, she never reads this.

Cathy and John D. decided to live apart - long story, and I don't know whether to say they've broken up yet or not, but it does seem that way. I can say they both have personal things they need time apart to deal with - Cathy's is partially work and partially her loss of patience with him after four and a half years of no self-improvement, goals, or motivation whatsoever. He has just finally gone to a doctor and found he was dealing with long-term depression. No shit!?! He's been failing at getting an Associates for four years. Here's the straw that broke the camel's back: he got probation from a pizza delivery job and laid in the bed in a fetal position for six days. He's 38...

The thing is and I mean this - he's great with kids, he loves Cathy, and on the rare occasion we could get him out for beers, he's fun to be around. The issue is he never starts. His 38 years seem like an unclimbable mountain to him. He thinks he's already a failure, so he never starts. He never has. Then he made a small, teeny tiny baby step he should have made years ago, and Cathy's patience is gone. It's sad - if the John of now could've visited the John of four years ago, he may have done something up to this point. I just hope he starts something NOW.


Anyway, if you see Cathy, be forewarned not to ask about the relationship.

So, anyway, Cathy is depressed and overworked and sick. So Dahly (my neighbor) made chicken gumbo and I made corn muffins, and we fed her. We also had her watch Little Miss Sunshine. (The last three movies I took her to were depressing: Children of Men, Notes on a Scandal, and Pan's Labyrinth - the last one I will probably write about here.) Anyway, Sunshine made her laugh - she stayed until the end. She needed it.

4) I looked at David's Myspace, and he's listening to Crowded House. ...Because I left the second live disc in his car! LMAO. I think he likes them! Half the music David listens to is stuff I turned him on to. BTW, David, can I have that back? I'll burn you copies of both the first and second disc.

ALSO, Crowded House have announced they are back together and finding a new drummer. They start a 12-month tour in April. Hope they come near Orlando!

5) Last week, I judged Duet Acting for a high school Thespian Contest, I actually enjoyed it. The judges I was with were fun, except we may have looked a little unprofessional the way we'd swap ballots and share comments with each other in between contestants. LMAO. At least our comments were in synch.

Also, we were picky in a good way. My big pet peeve (that the other judges shared, thank GOD!) was that some people - teachers even - were talking to each other while people were competing. GRRRRR! We told them in no uncertain terms to shut up!

And we were very involved. We pulled sponsors in, we shared insights, we disqualified students. We were not distant, authoritarian judges. I have to admit, it's the most involved I've ever done. Also, it's nice after hearing three years ago that I was the "tough judge." Even our student time keeper called me the "nice judge," hehe.

BTW, in honesty, Matty, in general, these kids were consistently better than the one we judged with you a few years ago. Sorry, but they
kinda kicked ass. You should've seen the one that got judge's choice; it was really nice!

6) BTW, I am jealous David gets to judge also this weekend.

7) We are going to see the stage version of Tuesdays with Morie tonight. Color me leery of literary treacle... I think this is the last year we do a season ticket to Orlando Theatre Project. Now that Kristian Truelson, Anne Hering, Darby Ballard, Chris Jorie, and Robbie Pigot are less involved, the quality has gone down. Gone are the drop-dead productions of W;T, A Perfect Ganesh, The Beauty Queen of Leananne, and Coyote on a Fence. Now, we have History of Western Civ (it was not very intellectually engaging and unsurprising), Souvenir (a play I wanted to see with a brilliant piano player who couldn't act well - major minus since he's the protagonist), and Tuesdays with Morrie. Where are Rabbit Hole and and The Goat and Mr. Marmalade and Doubt? It's just that the quality has been sliding...

Maybe we'll move our subscription over to Mad Cow who did brilliant productions of A Lesson Before Dying, Urinetown, Sweeney Todd, and lots of others (besides less-than-stellar Dangerous Liaisons, Stop Kiss, and so on...hit or miss...)


8) I am looking forward to Marci's belly-dancing solo. I hope I can go. She is dancing to Istanbul, yay! February 10th at some Indian restaurant in Kissimmee. I also asked her if her belly dances, what does the rest of her body do? I then told her I was going to punish myself for that stupid joke by slamming my ear in a car door. But I lied.

9) I am looking forward to Joshie's birthday party, though it seems the only times we see him are at parties or when i accidentally bump into him at Barnes & Noble...

10) I have two birthday parties tomorrow. Someone is having a surprise birthday party tomorrow - he doesn't read my blog, but I cannot guarantee he doesn't search the Internet for his name, so... Also, Dan Kilponen's boyfriend Jamie Cox is throwing a birthday party for Dan tomorrow. (Not a surprise!) Jamie is a perfect Southern Gentleman - after Hurricane Charley, he grabbed his chainsaw, jumped in a truck, and came down to help saw David out even though his own house was surrounded by downed trees. He also has a Southern accent thick as molasses. Dan is from Wisconsin and has an adorable retriever puppy named Abby.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Marcie's Impossibly Long Quiz

1. What are you dreading right now?
Two things: Finding a new job, and starting a routine to get healthier.


2. Do you celebrate 4/20?
Nope, and I know what this means, because I was a liberal arts student once!


3. Favorite country singer?
Emmilou Harris, I guess


4. What face cleanser do you use?
This green Biore stuff that’s as strong as my cheapo stuff but doesn’t dry out in the package – I’ve been having a small problem with nose zits recently…


5. When was your last doctor's visit?
Gah, the optometrist, I think, back in August


6. Is "First Loves are Never Over" true for you?
Is this a commercial? How lame!


7. Does your school have tornado drills?
Did it? Yes, Iowa…


8. Have you ever been on your school's track team?
Yes, and I was going through a major growth spurt, so running would cause the worst shin splints


9. Do you own a pair of Converse?
Yes, these really fey lavender ones, at least I still think I have them; I really need to throw them out


10. Do you eat raw cookie dough?
I shouldn’t but, Hell yeah!


11. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
I have a famous method for getting candy out of a machine; it’s violent, but it doesn’t require kicking it. You have to kill a hobo first.


12. Don't you hate when the radio ruins good songs by overplaying them?
Marcie’s answer: “Totally, but I hate it even more when the radio makes a BAD song even WORSE by overplaying it. ("Bad Day", anyone???)”


13. Do you watch Trading Spaces?
No, David and I used to


14. How do you eat Oreos?
I kill a hobo and then…


15. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sign in?
Nope, but I’ve hidden in the hedges waiting for you to come home…


16. Are you sexy?
NOPE! As Ben Folds says, there’s always someone cooler than you!


17. Shortest relationship?
39.2 seconds


18. Longest?
39.4 seconds


19. Could you live without a computer?
I don’t live with one now, we just fuck.


20. Do you wear your shoes in the house?
Gah, no that would be weird!


21. What do you do when you're sad?
Kill hobos


22. Last movie you rented?
I borrow a lot, but I don’t rent. Probably “Boiler Room” or something


23. How many times have you been pulled over?
Three


24. Is anyone on your bad side right now?
TV’s Jacqué and I are about to have a throwdown…Hold my earrings! Hold my baby, my bottle of Colt 45, and my WIC check!


25. What jewelry are you wearing?
A ring


26. What's the first thing you do when you get online?
Put my hands against the screen to feel God’s healing power


27. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD?
I own Scrubs Season 1, all of Kids in the Hall, and all of Strangers with Candy (the last two thanks to David)


28. How do most people misspell your name?
Only marketers do; my name is disgustingly easy to spell. For some reason, a lot of people hear "Pete" when I say "Steve" - probably my crappy cell phone...


29. Do you watch sports on TV?
Sometimes with the neighbors; I generally don’t watch TV


30. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares?
Dead serious, Who’s Afraid fo Virginia Woolfe


31. Who's your favorite celebrity couple?
Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara - this is serious, I love old comedy couples, they're so freaking cute. Actually most old couples are cute!


32. Favorite 80's teen movie?
Better Off Dead


33. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?
Is Justin touching small boys!?!?!


34. Do you know anyone who wasn't born in the U.S.?
I know a few people not born on this planet.


35. Favorite name for a boy?
Mr. Puss


36. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
Nope, I am changing it to Gewertztraminer


37. Your favorite restaurant that you don't get to eat at much?
The California atop the Contemporary


38. When is the last time you left your house?
This morning to go to work


39. Who is your favorite rapper?
Beastie Boys or the guy from The Streets


40. If you heard your phone ringing right now, who would you expect it to be?
Susan Maroldo


41. Would you survive in prison?
My skin is very supple, so yes


42. Next concert you hope to go to?
I have too many to mention, whichever gets to Orlando faster


43. What was the last thing you ate?
Sliced ham and steamed veggies


44. If all of your friends were going on a roadtrip, who would be most likely to overpack?
Me, probably…maybe if you meant ALL my friends, Alyson


45. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
Yes, first and last, scary


46. When is the last time you ate peanut butter?
I think I had a PB&J his weekend


47. What brand is your cell phone!
Motorola?


48. What's for dinner?
See above


49. What's the last thing you purchased?
Birthday cards for my employees, both of their birthdays are this week...


50. Ever been to Georgia?
Yes, sadly


51. Do you like marshmallows?
Yes, I do!


52. What irritates you on the internet?
Trying to get somewhere and having a sleazy "Are you single?" ad pop-up in between!


53. What brand is your digital camera?
Ooo, I don’t have one


54. Do you wear short shorts?
Ummm, cof cof, can’t….*blushes


55. Do you think you could be pregnant?
Only if this is an episode of The Twilight Zone


56. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne?
I don’t think it’s expensive


57. Did you see "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle"?
Yes, a bit of it


58. Have you ever been to a White Castle?
Barf, no! For some reason, cheap hamburger places and me don't mix. It's like eating a tapeworm burger...

Bringing Down the House

A little more on Crowded House after watching their final concert and all the old and new documentaries last night.

For those not in the know: Neil Finn was 16 when he joined his brother Tim Finn's experimental band, Split Enz, in the late 1970s. Although they were "kinda" popular in their native Australia and New Zealand, it wasn't until Neil started writing songs like "I See Red" and "History Never Repeats" that they became popular. Then, because the band was loosing its experimental edge, they decided to break up.

Neil started Crowded House with drummer Paul Hester and a bassist they found, Nick Seymour. Immediately their debut became popular with "Don't Dream It's Over" and "Something So Strong." Their second, darker album was a critical success, but met with less sales.

For their third album, brother Tim Finn joined (for a short while).

For their fourth album, they hired Mark Hart.

Slowly, they were gaining critical and European and world success while their sales were faltering in America. But there was always a sense that they were going to be a great band. They beat out U2, REM, and Nirvana as best live band in European awards over and over. Though Crowded House put out critically acclaimed albums that rose slowly in world sales, people were waiting for that one great album that would tip them over into super-stardom.

Then drummer Paul Hester - suffering from depression - quit the band. Soon after, Neil - who wrote all the songs but four - said it was over.

Their concert in Sydney was always billed as their last concert.

Neil went on to work solo and with brother Tim on small but critically successful albums. he has 2 solo albums, 2 albums with his brother, and one brilliant live album with guests Eddie Vedder (of Pearl Jam), Johnny Marr (of The Smiths) and more.

Nick produced in Dublin, and he plays bass for a successful local Irish band.

9 years later, after his mildly successful TV show got canceled and he sat around depressed for three years, Paul Hester hung himself in a public park.

A few things I’ve noticed after watching concert and documentaries last night last night

- It seems they ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to mention the suicide or to pay a memoriam to Paul in the current documentaries and interviews. Strange. They mention drummer Paul Hester a lot, but there is no sense of what happened to him – once, it is mentioned that he is dead.

- During the current Neil/Nick interviews, for much of the time, bassist Nick Seymour seems unwilling to engage. Instead he is looking to the side away from Neil and NOT LOOKING HAPPY. Only late does he engage a little, and he’s critical. Then he goes back into looking at the side and scowling more. There is obviously some bad blood here.

- One music critic stated that Crowded House was the band most people would want to run away with. They seemed genial guys, and they looked like they were having fun. The image from the outside was that joining Crowded House was the more convivial version of running away to join the circus. However, their image as a happy-go-lucky band gets a bit destroyed here.

- Also, it is very, very clear that this was Neil’s band to keep going or to stop. It is obvious that he wrote all but a handful of the songs, and that he was the major musical force. Which makes one wonder why he went with a band after Split Enz and not solo until years later. It’s as if he wanted to create a surrogate family, and after Paul left, Neil clearly decided that that family was divorced – that Crowded House would be no more.

- It makes one wonder about the different nature of bands. With Duran Duran, it’s clear one of them brings something to the table and all band members have a go at shaping it in one way or another. In the Beatles, there were Paul songs, John songs, a few George song, and Ringo screwing around mostly. In Crowded House, except for literally 4 songs, they were all Neil’s. Bassist Nick did the artwork, Paul and was the goof and the social/public image of the band. Why didn’t Neil go solo? I think there is a clue in that Neil seems to have thought of the band also as an itinerant family.

- Which brings us to Nick Seymour. He admits then and now that he felt there was one more great album in them. He says over and over – then and now – that he was downright shocked and surprised that both Paul and Neil admitted they didn’t want to be the best band in the world – that both Paul (who was starting to sink into depression) and Neil were sick of touring and wanted a private life. I think this devastated Nick. I believe he saw his job in the band to be one of the greatest champions of Neil’s musical genius, and he was flabbergasted that Neil himself wouldn’t go for it.

- Which brings us to Tim, who joined them for one album: Woodface. Obviously, he and his younger brother Neil wrote brilliant songs for the album Woodface. But that on stage, he was “just up there shaking a tambourine.” Here, Neil’s talent had so permeated the band by that third album that Tim – himself a founding member of Split Enz and the champion of Neil’s early career – found he was never going to creatively be equal to the stuff his little brother had already done. Imagine being a talented musician and a mentor, and then having your little brother so overshadow you talent-wise and media-wise like that. That’s why he left the bad – with no major hard feelings – half-way through the Woodface tour.

- Which brings us to keyboardist/guitarist Mark Hart, who joined them for their last two albums. I think he always saw himself as a hired gun. I also think he knew he’d never have as great a job as Crowded House, and that he wanted to BECOME a part of the band, that he – like Nick – felt they left the game too early and that there was still one great album in them.

- So much revolved around Neil’s talent and Paul’s outgoing stage antics and artwork. How hard it must’ve been that Neil can be so insular. And then when Paul’s depression would start to rear its angry head, it must’ve been devastating.

- All this may kill the image of Crowded House as a genial, fun-loving band. But I still think a large part of that image was true.

- Neil was supposed to tell the world on stage in June 1996 that the band was over, but he just couldn’t. He said, “We are all looking forward to the future with relish.” That was it. If he thought of them as a family, then this breakup must’ve been too hard to admit in public.

- Which gave the possibility for this one great concert in front of 120,000+ fans in their home country. It could’ve been seen as maudlin or even gauche, but I think it was a lovely celebration of 10 years of amazing music. It’s really worth that after you know the entire back story. How heart-breaking it is to hear Hole in the River (the song about Neil's aunt's suicide) on-stage and live, knowing that 9 years later drummer Paul would kill himself. How amazing Don't Dream it's Over is as a final song of the final concert. It just makes it even more incredible. Maybe Crowded House was on the cusp of U2-like or REM-like greatness. Who can say? We’ll never know.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Don't Dream It's Over

Crowded House is one of my favorite bands. I sincerely think singer/songwriter Neil Finn is an under-rated genius. I love his work with his brother’s band Split Enz; his work with Crowded House; his duo work with his brother; and his solo work. All of it.

To musicians like Eddie Vedder, Sinead O’Connor, Tori Amos, Lisa Germano, Sarah McLachlan, Dido, Jewel, and lots of others, Neil Finn is a legend.

Crowded House’s first two CDs – the eponymous one and Temple of Low Men – are lovely, and everyone should at least hear it once. (Now, I already know Todd-Michael won’t like it, because he only likes music where the singer sings at full blastisimo volume, adds lots of unnecessary extraneous trills and screeches and wallops, and basically bitch-slaps him up the side of the head. He thinks of music not as an artistic endeavor, but as if it was 8 pounds of cocaine right into the bloodstream just before his performing in an all-day cheerleading exhibition. Relaxing music and Todd-Michael don’t mix – they’re like Madonna and celluloid.)

But to me, Crowded House is my Simon & Garfunkel or Cat Stevens or James Taylor.

Their last concert was in 1996 in front of the famous Sydney Opera House in Australia with 120,000 fans. It was called Farewell to the World. Here’s a clip from it. Wait till the end; it's worth it:



Also, it’s sad to note that in 2005, drummer Paul Hester committed suicide by hanging himself in a public park in Australia. His smiling at the end of this particular song is doubly heart-breaking.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Worst Song in the World

Sometimes, things are so terrible you have to simply and honestly admire them for their mess and chaos and pure, unadulterated shittiness. Such is the case with this song, "First Swirling" by a band called Urania (may we all hope they were punished appropriately for this sin). It's nearly three minutes of lovely, spine-tingling crap from the lowest circles of Hell. I am placing it here for a week for you to download, because I am a giver. Enjoy!

http://download.yousendit.com/2BF61F5A724A4FFE

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Notes on Notes

If I were a real reviewer, I’d have to give this film about English public school teachers at least a B+. It is well-filmed, even if the story is a bit pedestrian. It’s also superbly acted (but then again, with Dame Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett, that’s not really a surprise, is it?)

Essentially, Notes on a Scandal has a simple plot. Waiflike inheritee Blanchett decides to take a break from her much-older husband, her Downs Syndrome son, and her failed art career to teach art at a shoddy local public school. There she befriends an icy, old, lonely history teacher played by Dench.

And Blanchett also starts screwing a fifteen-year-old-boy.

Dench, the deeply lonely, psychotic old lesbian she is, finds out and then tries to manipulate the situation so that she can possess beautiful Blanchett forever, bwahahahaha.

And to link to the title and to the great climax, Dench also writes this all down in her diaries she’s been scribbling in for centuries instead of – oh I don’t know – living!

There are several reasons I don’t like films like these. No one is particularly likeable or admirable. If they’re not honorable, at least they could be clever or smart. I don’t mind flawed characters, but I hate characters that offer me no connection or interest whatsoever. They are unconsciously mean and stupid, and their seductions are – true to most life – embarrassingly clunky and dull.

And to top it off they’re a bit sociopathic. It’s like Freud’s Id times a million. They’re ego-centric to the point that it could seriously be considered a mental illness. Their thought patterns go something like this: “What I want, what I want, me, me, me, it’s all about me and my wants, and what I want and me, me, me, and there is no one else to consider, it’s just me, and my wants and me, and me, and me…”

In Little Children, at least these selfish people were witty, and their story was told with some humor, complexity, and panache. Notes on a Scandal I would see once, concede that it is brilliantly acted, and then hopefully forget all about it and never ever see it again.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Plans for a Friday Night!

OK, so this is what my night looks like. This is the email I sent out to our normal movie-going crew:

First there's dinner at 6:10ish at Crispers at Winter Park Village (The Swillage)

David and I are seeing NOTES ON A SCANDAL tonight at 7:20pm. This is the one with Cate Blanchett and Dame Judy Dench (sweet, little talented, chubby Judi Dench! As Sir Ian McKellen called her when he dressed in drag as Dame Maggie Smith). Both Cate and Judi have SAG nominations for this, so it should be good.

Afterwards, I am going to go see fellow-Fringer Tod Kimbro and his band, The Chemists, at Austin's Coffee and Film, if anyone wants to join me.


So, here’s the trailer to Notes on a Scandal:



And here’s Sir Ian McKellen – I can’t find him in drag as Dame Maggie insulting poor Judi Dench, but here is Sir Ian’s BRILLIANT explanation of what acting is! LOL!



And a link to Tod Kimbro’s site, so you can get to know a little more about him listen to some of his cool music.
http://www.todkimbro.com

Also, right now I am listening to Stars of Track & Field (SoT&F) – their lovely debut Centuries before Love and War. I am posting a yousendit file here of their song Movies of Antarctica. You should be able to download it for about a week.
http://download.yousendit.com/72EDAA4A4C6C3A37

And finally, though you may not be able to hear it in this song alone, SoT&F remind me of a harder-edged Halloween, Alaska. Here's Halloween, Alaska’s song Call It Clear.

http://download.yousendit.com/12423EC122EAF621

Currently, it's my off Friday, so I am sitting at home missing Sarah French a bit. These days used to be our play dates. I should be working or writing a bit or cleaning. I'll get around to it.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Good-bye Lily Munster

She's died.

I always loved The Munsters (& The Adaams Family); they were so much closer to my own family than Father Knows Best or even The Brady Bunch. I also loved Yvonne De Carlo's name - it sounds so fucking classy. But mostly I remember her from Stephen Sondheim's Follies and her famous turn as the very first Carlotta Campion singing "I'm Still Here."

(Later, Shirley McLaine sang a version in Postcards from the Edge, you may remember.)

(And here's Shirley "Goldfinger" Bassey fucking up the lyrics and changing the words left and right in at least a very well-sung edited version of "I'm Still Here" - well-sung if only for the fact that or the fact that Shirley's older than the dirt under God's crib!)



And for Marion, here's Yvonne dancing to a hip flute solo. (Marion plays the flute! And GAH! Wasn't Yvonne sexy!?!?! Owch! Poor Burt Lancaster, lucky Tony Curtis!)




Because it's my blog, I am posting the brilliant lyrics to "I'm Still Here" here. If you haven't heard this 1971 song, I hope you do soon:

Good times and bum times,
I've seen them all and, my dear,
I'm still here.
Plush velvet sometimes,
Sometimes just pretzels and beer,
But I'm here.
I've stuffed the dailies
In my shoes.
Strummed ukuleles,
Sung the blues,
Seen all my dreams disappear,
But I'm here.

I've slept in shanties,
Guest of the W.P.A.,
But I'm here.
Danced in my scanties,
Three bucks a night was the pay,
But I'm here.
I've stood on bread lines
With the best,
Watched while the headlines
Did the rest.
In the Depression was I depressed?
Nowhere near.
I met a big financier
And I'm here.

I've been through Gandhi,
Windsor and Wally's affair,
And I'm here.
Amos 'n' Andy,
Mah-jongg and platinum hair,
And I'm here.
I got through Abie's Irish Rose,
Five Dionne babies, Major Bowes,
Had heebie-jeebies For Beebe's Bathysphere.
I lived through Brenda Frazier
And I'm here.

I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover,
Gee, that was fun and a half.
When you've been through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover,
Anything else is a laugh.

I've been through Reno.
I've been through Beverly Hills,
And I'm here.
Reefers and vino,
Rest cures, religion and pills,
And I'm here
Been called a pinko Commie tool,
Got through it stinko
By my pool.
I should have gone to an acting school.
That seems clear,
Still, someone said, "She's sincere,"
So I'm here.

Black sable one day.
Next day it goes into hock,
But I'm here.
Top billing Monday,
Tuesday you're touring in stock,
But I'm here.
First you're another
Sloe-eyed vamp,
Then someone's mother,
Then you're camp.
Then you career from career To career.
I'm almost through my memoirs.
And I'm here.

I've gotten through "Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis?
Wow! What a looker you were."
Or, better yet, "Sorry, I thought you were whoozis.
Whatever happened to her?"

Good times and bum times,
I've seen 'em all and, my dear,
I'm still here.
Flush velvet sometimes,
Sometimes just pretzels and beer,
But I'm here.
I've run the gamut.
A to Z.
Three cheers and dammit,
C'est la vie.
I got through all of last year
And I'm here.
Lord knows, at least I was there,
And I'm here!
Look who's here!
I'm still here!

To Kill a Big Green Monster!!!

I am so freakin' jealous!!! Now, why couldn't God have made me an Alabama High School student for a day!?!?!?

From cnn.com (I added the bold, italics!)

Reclusive 'Mockingbird' author attends show

MONTGOMERY, Alabama (AP) -- Reclusive author Harper Lee attended a high school play based on her book, "To Kill a Mockingbird," on Wednesday, then met with students who appeared in the production.

The production brought together about 60 students from nearly all-white Mountain Brook High and all-black Fairfield High Preparatory School.

The 80-year-old Lee was invited as a special guest to be honored by education and arts officials. Famous for prizing her privacy, she rarely speaks to reporters, though she does occasionally meet with students.

The author has not published another book since "Mockingbird," which remains a best-seller even decades after its publication in 1960.

After the performance, Al Head, executive director of the Alabama State Council of the Arts, presented Lee with a piece of pottery made by Alabama artist Larry Allen and titled "Unity Vessel."

Lee held the piece up toward the cast and crew, who stood behind her onstage, and waved to the audience, which gave a standing ovation. Lee did not address the crowd, but later talked to students at a private reception.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Little Children

Early on in the dark, suburban Little Children, the wry and spooky narrator says that we humans want what we want and no amount of logic or sense can sway us from that.

This’s basically the way little children think.

But it’s also the thought-pattern for a disaffected suburban housewife (Kate Winslet), and an emasculated stay-at-home dad who once was a Golden Boy (Patrick Wilson.) These two are going to have a messy affair, despite logic and sense telling them they should avoid it at all costs.

And then there’s the uncontrollable want of Winslet’s husband, who is secretly addicted to internet porn. And then there is the unstoppable want of Wilson’s wife (Jennifer Connolly), who is more obsessed with the family she’s doing a documentary about than she is her own husband and child.

Finally, there is the unbearable want of the local sexual pervert. Jackie Earl Haley’s character once exposed himself to a child, and now he’s home, living with his ancient mom, and trying to avoid the oddly-fixated ex-cop who is intent on bullying him out of town.

Yep, you know it! These lives are going to intersect in ugly, unpredictable ways. And everyone is going to learn how wanting what they want without listening to reason can hurt them.

But nothing in this film happens exactly the way we expect, and that’s good. From the dark, witty narrator (as a sort of Voice of God) to the unusual plot, Little Children keeps us on our toes. And the film never asks us to root for people who are basically not interesting or admirable (like another suburban film, the grossly over-rated American Beauty) did. Instead, Little Children makes its less-than-admirable characters incredibly fascinating. And it has an elaborately navigated set of plots. That’s how it engages us.

It’s not the best film ever made. But it isn’t dull. It’s superbly acted - Winslet and Haley are especially worth note. Director/adapter Todd Fields knows how to shoot a scene and how to keep things tense. And, finally, the plot and the characters do things that we don’t quite expect.

In my humble opinion, Little Children is an excellent way to spend two hours of your life. Want it!

Children of Men

I don't want to spoil too much, but the film is about one generation in the future, where we have lost the ability to reproduce. The hopelessness and chaos this fact imbues into society is heartbreaking! Its mood runs through the entire dark film. Terrible things happen we as movie-goers would never suspect. We feel violated, robbed of hope, and finally numb.

But then one person shows up 8 months pregnant. Miraculously, after years of barrenness, here is the round belly and the expectation of new life!

However, don't get your hopes up just yet. If Apocalyptic films can be any more depressing than Children of Men, I don't want to see them.

However, give me a film with wonderful acting and masterful camera work like this any day, and I will happily sit through it twice in a row!

From the very first minutes, we see how disaffected Clive Owen's character is by the anarchy around him, and then the movie - basically deeply emotional chase scene, really - concentrates on his slow, powerful change back into someone who cares again. It's a painful two hours watching him emerge from some barely-breathing automaton who is numb to his world's inevitable destruction back into a humane, emotional activist who refuses to give in.

Also, the film (directed by Alfonzo Cuaron - Y Tu Mama Tambien & Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkiban) has several single-shot scenes are breathtaking. Once, blood even gets on the lense of the camera and yet the film keeps going on with hundreds of extras, tanks, explosions, squibs, fire, and chaos. I still marvel at how the director and crew even began to get this shot. The painstaking planning alone is mind-boggling! The extended single-shots late in the fim are even heartbreakingly beautiful and shiningly hopeful in the midst of all the bleak darkness.

It is a film certainly worth seeing. Just take some Prozac with you.

The History Boys

I am still struggling over how I feel about this movie.

In the eighties, 8 boys from a less-than-stellar English prep school have the chance to try for Oxford or Cambridge. But they must pass the entrance exam and the interviews. So, they come back to school for one term to be taught by their history teachers on how to gain entrance. The problem? One professor, Totty, teaches ancient history rathr dryly and another, the beloved Mr. Hector, teaches general history and poetry and Cole Porter songs and 1940s movies or whatever catched his or they boys' fancy. He is also a a very fat, lonely man who sometimes secretly fondles the boys through ther prep pants, much to their weary, sad boredom.

So new professor Moore is brought in to get the boys ready for the interview. Thus starts a battle on how history is taught and interpretted. The movie tries but fails to be much more than a film of the now-famous stage play. But because the play is so good, it's still watchable (or at least listenable).

The movie leaves us to ponder these "History Boys" and their teachers as live human beings. What did these students and professors take and pass to the rest of history? They often say and do things I greatly admire, and then they turn around and say and do things that make me wince. Then they do questionable things with the very best of intentions. They express their dislikes and admirations in the most uncomfortable and sometimes unlikely of ways.

I didn't like many of their choices. But I believed every minute of it.

I was fascinated by the chaos and strength these boys' budding sexuality brings to the picture - how this gives some of them conflict and others of them a bit of power. Is that power misused? Is merely using sexual power misusing it? Or is this my well-buried Midwestern prudishness showing? ;-)

I was totally captured by what the movie says about how we interpret history, whether we spin it for our own personal needs or cultural times, and whether truth matters so much as interest. “There is nothing so unknown as the recent past.” How true. We hear at least four characters give their view on what history truly is, and each of them says some thing that are true; as well, each of them also says some things that only they themselves can believe in.

One of the things I have always loved in good playwriting is when the author is fiercely honest with all of the characters. Writer Alan Bennett doesn't make characters that are good versus evil, or moral versus immoral. He just creates complex and fascinating people onstage and lets them exist with their wonders, absurdities, honorable qualities and flaws all abounding. We believe them, and we ourselves struggle with them, because they are real. We see our own honorable intentions, our greatest strengths, and our worst weaknesses in their intricate personalities.

I feel that an experience like The History Boys is powerful if it raises all these questions. Great writing is successful if you love and believe the characters even if they often make you squirm, or frustrate you, or break your heart. We so often want the easily answers; we want the “right” people to be good beyond question; we want to root for them. But Alan Bennett knows that real life and great drama never affords us that “luxury.”

I love the thoughts The History Boys has raised. Sometimes it seems we live in a world where thinking and amusement are often are miles apart, where most of us would never put “complicated” and “fun” in the same sentence. I love that we still have works like The History Boys for those of us that do find great enjoyment in being challenged by our entertainment.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

First Quiz of 2007

t h e l e t t e r A
Are you available?: Let’s just say never.
What is your age?: 37
What annoys you?: People who are mentally incapable of seeing things from another person’s perspective.


t h e l e t t e r B
Do you live in a big house?:
Nope, a small duplex, but I like it.
When is your birthday?: Women’s Suffrage Day (US)
Who is your best friend?: David Almeida


t h e l e t t e r C
What's your favorite candy?: Dove Dark Chocolate
Who's your crush?: No one
When was the last time you cried?: Have I stopped?


t h e l e t t e r D
Do you daydream?: I agree with Marci, Life IS better inside my head!
What's your favorite kind of dog?: Kosher
What day of the week is it?: Saturday! Saturday! (And now I have a Bay City Rollers song running through my head, thanks!)


t h e l e t t e r E
How do you like your eggs?: Severely scrambled with cheese or benedict – NOTHING ELSE! I am not a huge egg fan.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: Yes
What's the easiest thing ever to do?: Daydream, actually, I do it very very easily.

t h e l e t t e r F
Have you ever flown in a plane?: Jesus, yes!
Do you use fly swatters?: Only on my naughty bits

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only on my naughty bits

t h e l e t t e r G
Do you chew gum?: LOL
– am right now!
Are you a giver or a taker?: This sounds sexual, so I am skipping it.
Do you like gummy candies?: Not really – I once worked for a gummi bear factory, and that sort of turned me off.


t h e l e t t e r H
How are you?: Tired, but there is still so much more to do!
What's your height?: 5’10”
What color is your hair?: Flesh – what’s left is brown going grey


t h e l e t t e r I
What's your favorite ice cream?:
Ben & Jerry Everything But The…
Have you ever ice skated?: Yep

t h e l e t t e r J
What's your favorite jelly bean?: Jelly Belly Cappuccino (ask Cathy, this is true!)
Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke?: Besides my life?
Do you wear jewelry? This one sounds sexual so I am skipping it.


t h e l e t t e r K
Who do you want to kill?: I only get mad at myself, really
Do you want kids?: Yes, to go away.

Where did you have kindergarten?: Jefferson Elementary on Cherry Street in Creston, Iowa

t h e l e t t e r L
Are you laid back?:
This sound sexual so I am skipping it.
Do you lie?: Yep, not so much anymore, though


t h e l e t t e r M
What's your favorite movie?: The Color Purple – dead serious
Do you still watch Disney movies?: Yep.
Do you like mangos?: This sound sexual so I am skipping it.

t h e l e t t e r N
Do you have a nickname?: Yes, I have a LOT, most of them derogatory
What's your favorite number?: pi
Do you prefer night over day?: Yes, easier to hide your crimes


t h e l e t t e r O
What's your one wish?: To win the lottery – people say money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d like the experience firsthand, before I believe it.
Do you wish this was over?: Not yet – I am not motivated yet!


t h e l e t t e r P
What one fear are you most paranoid about?:
Certain things made out of dead animal parts – like children’s puppets made of rabbit fur, and YES they do exist! Paranoid, being of poor health and impoverished! And I'll mention Sarah here, so she'll read the whole thing (yous earcher, you!)


t h e l e t t e r Q
Are you quick to judge people?: Jesus, yes, and I hate that about myself.


t h e l e t t e r R
Do you think you're always right?: No, and I LOVE when people gently pull me aside and correct my arrogance to me in private! Serious.
Do you watch reality tv?: Nope, don’t watch TV


t h e l e t t e r S
Do you prefer sun or rain?: This sound sexual so I am skipping it.
Do you like snow?: Fuck, NO!
What's your favorite season?: Real Floriduh winters, not what we’re having here.

t h e l e t t e r T
What time is it?:
3:50 p.m.
What time did you wake up?: Which time? – once for an hour and a half at 4:48am and again at 8:41 am
When was the last time you slept in a tent?: Jesus, it’s been waaaay too long, probably when I went to the race track with my brothers for Labor Day 2004.


t h e l e t t e r U
Are you wearing underwear?: Yep

Underwear or boxers?: Briefs

t h e l e t t e r V
What's the worst veggie?:
Brussels Sprouts – I have recently grown to hate them even more! They taste like they’re already rotting.
Where do you want to go on vacation?: Venice! I want to have the money to go to Venice!
Where was your last family vacation to?: We stopped when I was seven, just before my Mom died – we went to East Battle Lake near Henning, Minnesota.


t h e l e t t e r W
What's your worst habit?: Laziness
Where do you live?: Whore-lando (sticking with the W theme!)


t h e l e t t e r X
Have you ever had an x-ray?: Yes
Have you seen the x-games?:Nope
Do you own a xylophone?: Nope


t h e l e t t e r Y
Do you like the color yellow?:
Yep, it’s up in the upper third of good colors
What's one thing you yearn for?: Money


t h e l e t t e r Z
What's your zodiac sign?:
Aquataurirgosaurus
Do you believe in the zodiac?: Yes and no
What's your favorite zoo animal?: Me

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Three More Sonnets

I am getting a kick out of the limitations, the discipline in choosing the right phrases to fit the structure. No one reads other people's poems (even writing poems is seen as effete or some sort of self-indulgent pseudo-intellectualism), but posting here fits the rules I blog by, so...

BTW, is using the phrase "self-indulgent pseudo-intellectualism" a sign of self-indulgent pseudo-intellectualism?

Can it have been called love after it ends;
That mad vitriol between enemies
Or the sad transition to that of friends?
When that last dire spit of hot venom sees
The grave-deep truth of blind recognition,
Do we finally, truthfully, admit
“One love” was a foolish assignation?
Or is this a murder we don’t commit?
In time, yes, that charming photo yellows,
Memory lightens, and poison mellows.
But my heart’s desperate pride, I notion,
Will never confess misaimed emotion.
But someday, True Love will make its demand,
So that gun has been aimed here in my hand.


I have yelled to the cold night wind, screaming
As it howled back. In waters, I have sunk
To the bottom and pled for love, streaming
The air out of my lungs. In deepest drunk,
Alone, I have shouted, “Come to me, now!
Come to me,” writing in the wisp-like air
My angry “why” and my sincerest vow.
I offered up this: my Loneliness Prayer.
My heart clings to this joy of self-pity:
From gothic nihilism unimpaired!
You only passed me in proximity.
With only silent darkness, have I shared.
Who knows how much better I might have fared,
If just once, I spoke up when I was scared?

I’ve been told not to tie myself to you,
But your scissors cut the tangled, dull thrum
Of my heart. I weave your dark body through
Every spinning dream. Your raveled hum;
Here is my thread’s beginning, and my end.
We unwind our love in secret places.
I never spill secrets, or call you friend,
But I see your shroud on other faces.
Please, unknit me a night quilt for your bed.
Sew your lips to mine; I will never leave.
I admit my love is unsung, unsaid,
But uncoil me, please, and you will believe.
Though you string me up my life to suffer,
I pin my hopes to you, and no other.